Πέμπτη 8 Νοεμβρίου 2018

08/11/2018


This song. It popped up in my notifications on Youtube. Ariana sang it on the Ellen show and I saw some comments saying to watch a certain part of it eg when she almost slipped and she genuinely exclaimed 'woah' and laughed. Even when she got emotional and her dancers acted extra silly so she could laugh.

I was thinking about this the other day - that she has been through some tough situations over the past two years. What with the Manchester attack.. she came back two weeks later and held the concert with other musicians. Money she made from there went to the victims' families. She could have easily not wanted to go on tour at all after what happened. Who knows the guilt she felt. She made that decision to do something in the face of hate. Even with 'No Tears Left To Cry' - the message was powerful and symbolic.

She lost an ex of hers this year - 'Mac Miller' (Malcolm McCormick) - who had overdosed. In her song 'Thank U, Next' she addresses him as an 'angel'. His song 'Self Care' has been so eye opening and on repeat when I am able to listen to music and let my mind wander. In the music video, Malcolm is smoking in a wooden box.. I just found that video so strange and morbid. It also had a really strong message behind being proud and loyal to yourself too.

Ariana broke up with her fiance too this year (Pete?).This girl released a freaking song about being thankful for her exes and those who have taught her so many things. What a role model... seriously.

It is so easy to get mad at the world and everyone whether it was an ex-partner or ex-friend. It comes from being in pain which I get.. but these past few periods in my life have also taught me so much. Sometimes you can't win, no matter how hard you try to avoid heartbreak or negative people and circumstances. We can't control what happens to us but we can acknowledge it, let us digest it and control how we act afterwards.

'Self-Care' and 'Thank U, Next' are the songs that, ironically, give off such a deep message of life. This is it. One of the people is dead while the other still sings. This is life. I was listening to 'Thank U, Next' on the bus on the way back from work and smiled. I realised.. it is an honor to share my thoughts with someone else and for them to do the same. It has been so long that I opened up my heart to another and felt that ''feeling'' after so many years. I wonder what I will learn this time..!


Κυριακή 28 Οκτωβρίου 2018

Autumn Lieu


I dream of those solemnly yellow glows;
They illuminate the very wonders of autumn temperament
The rays give off a complexion of jazz notes, cold fall nights and an unfinished alcoholic toast

Chet Baker's ''Almost Blue'' plays in the background
While  we're on our youth high horse
Funny how we experience escapism by leaving and keeping busy or staying by ourselves the most.

There's an apartment out there which is yet to be lived in and called my own
A street yet to be walked on and a bus I have yet to run for
There are lips which have yet to be kissed and kindness yet to be shared
Meals which have yet to be ventured and freshly washed socks mysteriously left to be unpaired

Alas, we wake up and sleep every day that comes my darling
Thinking that tomorrow is guaranteed and that hardships have been delayed, if not, shunned
When all we really want, for the most part, is for bliss and sorrow to be shared and not tackled alone



Copyright © M.E.S
(Picture source: x )

Παρασκευή 26 Οκτωβρίου 2018

07/03/15


It continues in a dream
A beam
So small you’d think it was never meant to be seen
Lures me in, chest forward, chiseled chin
Wall nearin’
A sense of
Sin
Dysfunctional genetics
(t)-Win?
Dysphoria kicks in
Strokes of black cover my skin
Indulge in the lips, the neck
Pulsating heels
Blood runs
Speck by speck
Cyclic motion of sentimental glances.
Tip toeing around forgotten chances
Oh, the unseen dances
Where is the need for romances

Breathe, feel
Exhale, peel

This is a dream.
It is not real.

Copyrigh
Copyright © M.E.S.t ©Copyright © M.E.S. M.E.S.

Κυριακή 21 Οκτωβρίου 2018

Ονειρεύτηκα χθες ότι περνούσα ένα στενό κι ήταν βράδυ. Αισθανόμουν πως ήμουν στην Αθήνα αλλά ήμουν στη Νάουσα; Ότι ήμουν εκεί για ένα συνέδριο αλλά ότι ήμουν με οικογένεια;
Και το αίσθημα του να στέλνω μήνυμα σε πρόσωπα που βρίσκονται στις πόλεις που επισκέπτομαι πάντα μου έβγαινε σε άγχος. Άγχος ότι δε θα τους αφιερώσω το χρόνο που θέλουν ή το χρόνο που θέλω εγώ να τους αφιερώσω είτε επειδή έχω καιρό να τους δω, είτε επειδή είναι οικογένεια, είτε επειδή με φιλοξενούν κ.ο.κ.
Εντελώς τυχαία, λοιπόν, περνούσα το δρόμο στο όνειρο έχοντας τη σκέψη να φτάσω στο προορισμό μου για να μη με δει κανείς (τι σου κάνει το υποσυνείδητο!). Περίμενα να περάσει ένα αυτοκίνητο για να περάσω κι ήταν τότε που είδα ένα παλιό μου άτομο να κοιτάει από τη θέση του οδηγού. Κατάλαβα ποια ήταν κι αυτή με κατάλαβε και κάτι μέσα μου ήλπιζε ότι θα σταματούσε αλλά με προσπέρασε με μεγαλύτερη ταχύτητα.
Στο όνειρο θυμάμαι έτρεξα σπίτι κι είχα τόση αδρεναλίνη. Στο όνειρο, είχα να τη δω χρόνια - όπως και τώρα. Ήμουν μόνη στο σπίτι και τότε χτύπησε η πόρτα και μπήκε μέσα χωρίς χαιρετίσματα χωρίς κάτι άλλο, με κοίταξε κι απλά άρχισε να με φιλάει.
Μου φάνηκε τόσο περίεργο πόσο ''οικεία'' αισθάνθηκα που έβγαζα τα ρούχα της κι αυτή τα δικά μου. Που ήξερα ακριβώς τι της αρέσει, ποιο ήταν το σημείο που ''έλιωνε'' να ακουμπάω και με ποιο τρόπο, που τη φιλούσα στο λαιμό κι άκουγα πόσο της άρεζε - με εξίταρε όλο τόσο πολύ.
Σύντομα μετά, απλά άρχισα να κλαίω και της είπα να φύγει. Τότε ξύπνησα.

Ξανακοιμήθηκα. Είδα πως ήμουν κάπου που το τσιμέντο σου έδινε μια αίσθηση κουλτούρας. Ήμουν σε ένα από εκείνα τα τουριστικά λεωφορεία που ήταν ταυτόχρονια εστιατόριο (δεν έχω ιδέα τι σκέφτεται το υποσυνείδητό μου πάλι). Ήμουν με την οικογένειά μου. Είδα ένα άλλο πρόσωπο του παρελθόντος που είχαμε ραντεβού πιο μετά. Ανέβηκε με τη παρέα της αλλά δεν είχε χώρο και κατέβηκε. Χαιρετηθήκαμε από μακριά, της χαμογέλασα και της έκλεισα το μάτι - τότε μου χαμογέλασε κοιτώντας με με ένα βλέμμα λες και προετοίμαζε για το μετά. Δεν ξέρω τι. Ήταν από τα πιο αγνά χαμόγελα που έχω δει σε όνειρο και μου έκανε εντύπωση.


Δευτέρα 15 Οκτωβρίου 2018


Listen to this and feel the claps release your pressure into creativity, movement, flexibility. Let it expand your mind, prolong the urge, give you the strength of gratitude.
This song reminds me of strong, gentle, influential women. The women we don't know about, the ones who make the world go around with their swift unseen gestures. The ones who kiss as if it were their last and who make love to share their focus and dimension of bliss. The ones who look into the eyes and speak with honesty recognise their mortality. The ones who study and are passionate with their hands and those who keep their interest renewed as a choice they make every day. 

What beautiful creatures we are!

Τετάρτη 10 Οκτωβρίου 2018

I can give you my jacket to
Trace the sewing of white string strays. 
You can feel the breeze and the goosebumps behind your back
I can glance at you and not look away.
You can lean your legs forward on mine
We can share secrets that will make imagination go astray.
I can kiss your lips, your neck
Give your hands the okay.
The feeling in your stomach will give you that familiar urge
We always leave the next scene for another drive, another year, another day.

 Copyright © M.E.S

Κυριακή 7 Οκτωβρίου 2018

“Tous les rêves, tous les espoirs, toutes les illusions danseront, j'espère, nuit et jour à la lueur de vos boucles et je ne serai sans doute plus là, moi qui ne désirais y être que pour vous voir.”

— André Breton, L’amour fou

Πέμπτη 4 Οκτωβρίου 2018

Speaking with my siblings and friends, I am often told that I have a peculiar memory - that I remember some things in such detail from the past that most wouldn’t really bother with.
I do find it weird how many things have been somewhat stored in my subconscious. I find the science behind it quite interesting. How you combine certain smells of people with a sentiment or you find certain times of the day more enjoyable than others? I do believe it has to do with the people you’re with but also the daily routine.
For example, I remember when it was the time after lunch and before the afternoon.. I have always had a strange feeling about that time of day because when I was younger, my Mom wanted us to nap after lunch and I could never nap no matter how hard I tried. Then, we would be told we were going to the park or to play or see friends in the afternoon (after the designated nap time) - so I have subconsciously correlated these meanings with a “mood” even now!

It is worth thinking - do the feelings we get upon initial contact with a situation/mood/sentiment define the future of our correspondance with it? 
I think it is funny how many memories I can share with them and they look so surprised! I think it also comes from being observant. I often felt a strange feeling of being a viewer in my life rather than actively participating in it a lot growing up. So, perhaps, this could be a reason as to why some memories have stuck more than others.

Anyway.. life is alright other than that. Keeping busy with different projects and discovering new music and topics. I feel like time is going by so fast - how is it October already?! I would like to book some trips and make some plans about what next year might hold.

Τρίτη 18 Σεπτεμβρίου 2018

I was at the supermarket to buy some pears and I couldn't find a bag to place them in so I asked one of the people who worked there if it was possible to get me a bag when this happened -
Me: Can I please have a bag for these? *shows pears*
Employee: Yes, bear with me one moment and I'll get you some
Me *with pride*: Did you mean 'pear'?
Employee: *awkward smile*

I don't regret anything.

Κυριακή 16 Σεπτεμβρίου 2018

Παρασκευή 14 Σεπτεμβρίου 2018

Fémina - Mi Eje (Live on KEXP)



I would love to learn Spanish. It rolls off the tongue so easily. It is such a sensual language and can convey so much passion, emotion and zest! Perhaps it is the words we choose that make the language. The geographical location, the weather, the crop/food available.. it makes me want to experience the dawn and dusk of 1000 suns. I want to live and hope I can fulfill all my needs for travel, for connection, for creation, for love. I am so excited and humbled by this existence.

Σάββατο 8 Σεπτεμβρίου 2018

Lord

I am generally so clueless when it comes to people flirting with me - they might as well hold a sign in neon letters and lights to get their message across.
I become so freaking protective and awkward sometimes.. like, someone may send me a picture of themselves and I will be like ‘Are you not cold?!’ or they may just want to undress themselves and I’ll take my jacket off like ‘Have you FELT how cold it is, TAKE THIS’.

Πέμπτη 6 Σεπτεμβρίου 2018

To caress your being should be viewed as a privilege of fates
My parents told me about my body being a temple
Is there a crack in your Freudian gates?

I long to share this silent chaos with anyone's fortitude
So I can experience their mistakes.
I yearn to build something with these hands, objects of an anachronistic, holy make

We're forever lost in our own and then we
Forsake
Our actions, our beliefs, our ethos plate.

When will we feel the hunger and devour our opportunities to reach a different state?





Copyright © M.E.S.

Τρίτη 4 Σεπτεμβρίου 2018

“I once asked my friends if they’d ever held things that gave them a spooky sense of history. Ancient pots with three-thousand-year-old thumbprints in the clay, said one. Antique keys, another. Clay pipes. Dancing shoes from WWII. Roman coins I found in a field. Old bus tickets in second-hand books. Everyone agreed that what these small things did was strangely intimate; they gave them the sense, as they picked them up and turned them in their fingers, of another person, an unknown person a long time ago, who had held that object in their hands. You don’t know anything about them, but you feel the other person’s there, one friend told me. It’s like all the years between you and them disappear. Like you become them, somehow.”

— Helen Macdonald,
H is For Hawk

The other day at work I got off the phone and continued to do work on the computer when one of my more experienced colleagues called my name. I thought she wanted to correct me for something I said because I am still new to the whole process and might have said something I shouldn’t have but she just said ‘Maria, your voice is so soothing. It calms me down’.

LOL

Σάββατο 1 Σεπτεμβρίου 2018

I saw some posts yesterday about Cosima and the clothes she chooses to wear. I remember how the ''glare'' of colors in aspects of directing in Orphan Black seemed as if they changed to me. It was as if it was a different lense that was being used? I don't know how to explain.. it is as if I have connected a 'color' with a sentiment sort of.

So anyway, I remembered this scene with Delphine where she was holding one of Helena's babies and looking over and smiling at Cosima. That ''color'' of the scene and series stayed with me subconsiously because, let me tell you, a dream I had was so interesting.

I dreamt I was lying down somewhere in nature and looking up at the sunny sky. Evelyne Brochu (the actress that portrays Delphine) protruded in front of me and just smiled at me and proceeded to kiss me? I remember she then just started kissing my neck and I just remember she was also talking about everyday stuff as if we were in conversation beforehand.

I remember seeing scars on her chest and trying to seek the symbolism behind them?!

Then I woke up and wondered what it meant (if it meant anything) and wish it hadn't ended!

'Sophie' by Farah Chamma

Sophie


I am in awe, oh dear Sophie
Of all things done and said
I am one single, wandering thought
In this world’s contemplative head

How do I dare speak all these words?
When facing this vast, capricious Vie
When tempests and storms ravage the waves
Of what worth is one droplet of the sea?

It is bewildering, as I am sure you know
Yet, it takes you almost a gesture to understand
I mustn’t refer to Zola’s Labyrinthe
To explain to you how it is on this part of land

I am in awe, oh dear Sophie 
Of how distance, at times, can be undone
It takes a thought to simplify a world
And above so many, you are one.

Source: https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/sophie_404362 

Δευτέρα 27 Αυγούστου 2018



Copyright © M.E.S.

Σάββατο 25 Αυγούστου 2018

The morning breeze finds ways to fill in the crevices of my skin
I feel cold, but it is a relief.
To feel alive, in tune, softly careless.
Subtly outspoken.

I never felt the need to declare or prove my love.
I show it with my own way
A text, a call, a letter, a parcel 
Something

I will give as selflessly as I can
Because that is what brings me peace and joy.
To listen is a sacred act of bravery and patience.
To observe without an ulterior motive is the moment we are at a type of peace in ourselves.
The behaviour we practice after being hurt (even on purpose) will influence our healing.

I am still learning to be brave and patient; to be at peace and practice solidarity.

Oh the wonders life brings.

Copyright © M.E.S.

Κυριακή 19 Αυγούστου 2018




Wanna be like this...

Δευτέρα 13 Αυγούστου 2018

http://vaninnavaninni.tumblr.com/post/174533269461/the-strings-on-the-kithara-are-of-100-pure-silk


(If you listen to something tonight, let it be this)

Let the sound remind you of the joys of life
The long summer days
The unknown sorrow
The weightless relief

Let it bring you one step closer to acceptance
To realisation
To forgiveness
To dignity

For, the purest of feeling is not love itself
It is the actual practice of love.
It is to live with unapologetic passion and honesty-
only then will you honor the life you have left in memory of those who are gone.

Copyright © M.E.S.





Κυριακή 12 Αυγούστου 2018

In Sappho’s poem, her addresses to Gods are orderly, perfect poetic products, but the way—and this is the magic of fragments—the way that poem breaks off leads into a thought that can’t ever be apprehended. There is the space where a thought would be, but which you can’t get hold of. I love that space. It’s the reason I like to deal with fragments. Because no matter what the thought would be if it were fully worked out, it wouldn’t be as good as the suggestion of a thought that the space gives you. Nothing fully worked out could be so arresting, so spooky.

— Anne Carson, from an interview in ‘The Art of Poetry No. 88′ 

Κυριακή 5 Αυγούστου 2018












August
The yellow-brown focus
The mild but sweet humidity 
The scent of  morning coffee, honey and mortality

Let us share the dysphoria of the sun
So we can accept pleasure
So we can lose ourselves to time

So we can replenish our urges

Let us welcome the night
So we can fulfill youth's expectations

So we can watch our hands make their own way

So we can feel, after everything, we made something pure in the midst of our futility 

(Gifs are not my own)
Copyright © M.E.S. 

Δευτέρα 30 Ιουλίου 2018


That spot is theirs
That bench belongs to their youth
They grew into women breathing the same air
Quenching their thirst with water of the same source
They crossed the same bridge their foremothers leapt to their death in

Seeing her go down those stairs,
She cannot help but admire her presence -
That sparkle in her eyes when she discusses her dreams
That look she gives her that shows what she wants 

It is wit, humor, indifference and poetry that brought them together
Elements of the same core but fit into different crevices

Across from them, there is a desert so vast 
Each grain of sand remains a key to the geological fortitude
Relationships are all about erosion and birth
The cycle of life

They sip their wine because that is how they fill the silences in between their longing
They savour the aftertaste because they experienced it later than most
One of them stands up and starts dancing  
The other cannot help but come behind her to clasp her fingers and hold them around a moving waist

They both gently laugh because it is an indulgence they never acted upon
They keep swaying in silence

It is one of the purest aspects of life-
To be able to hold onto an idea or sentiment of one's youth!

(Picture source: ellehena - Tumblr)
Copyright © M.E.S.

Σάββατο 21 Ιουλίου 2018

Άτοπη συνουσία


Γίνεται ένα κέντρο βάρους να ταλαντώνεται; 
Ή αποτελεί αυθύπαρκτο σημείο κατατεθέν που όλα τα άλλα κέντρα ευθυγραμμίζει προς μια κατάσταση χαοτικής συμβίωσης ή νιχιλιστικής ομοιόστασης;
Τα σώματά μας στιγμιαία μπορούν να γίνουν ένα και να καταστήσουν μια ρευστή ισορροπία
Μια μουδιασμένη έκρηξη ηδονής
Ακόμη κι εκεί, υπάρχει το μέτρο, η συχνότητα, η ταλάντωση
Ακόμη κι εκεί, είναι αχρείαστα τα λόγια
Ακόμη κι εκεί, βρίσκονται τα ομορφότερα επιστημονικά μοτίβα


Copyright © M.E.S.

Πέμπτη 19 Ιουλίου 2018

I saw a girl in my dreams a few times over the course of three weeks. This is so strange
The intimacy and familiarity I felt were eerie and comforting at the same time
Just like when you open a book and continue reading it from the same place you left it.
This girl still holds a place in my heart even if we don't talk too often.

I saw some dreams these past few weeks where we were just talking, teasing each other with smart comments and being cheeky with one and other - simply because we could.
All of these dreams ended in us eventually sleeping together and it was kind of like.. innate?
It felt so natural and there was so much eye contact and an "animalistic flow" of some kind.

I miss that feeling of love and mutual respect; that feeling of holding someone in your arms and wanting to protect them, to reach a level of personal "atonement" and to respect their being for everything they were born with and everything they may grow to be.

I miss the feeling of touching someone and making them know that their body is sacred; that their fears and dreams are valid and that it is acceptable, in that moment, for them to feel whatever they need to because they made the first move, they opened up and made themselves vulnerable.


It is not about looking at that person as fragile or unable to defend themselves.. and it is not about seeing myself as a "replacement" or reminder of their worth or even a submissive entity for that matter (not that there's anything wrong with that!). I just find it so.. overwhelming how humans interact and how our capabilities can offer us so much gratification if we knew when to compromise, if we were braver or even if we behaved as truthfully as we could.


Copyright © M.E.S.



Πέμπτη 12 Ιουλίου 2018

'On the Way to Paris' by Farah Chamma

'On the Way to Paris

Many people have tan lines
in the South―
The train barely stops
and the seat rubs against―skin―
You want to hear
that certain moan again,
but you are sad
and restless
and things keep passing
before your eyes
like trees in windows.
The sun shines bright
in the South,
especially in July,
but you are sad
and restless
and your train
is heading North.'

( Source: https://www.facebook.com/farah.chamma/posts/1203080649744502 )

Σάββατο 23 Ιουνίου 2018

Το γράμμα που δε στάλθηκε ποτέ

Αυτή είναι η ζωή.
Μέσα στις ατέλειές της, στα πρωινά που ξεκίνησαν άσχημα και τα βράδια που τελείωναν με χαμόγελο στο κρεβάτι.
Ή και το ανάποδο.
Δεν μετανιώνω για κάτι, ούτε ξεχνώ πως η ζωή είναι μερικές φορές -εκτός από δασκάλα- αλλόκοτη.
Δεν ήταν λίγες οι φορές που σκεφτόμουν πως όταν συνέβαιναν, δεν ήξερα πως θα ήταν η τελευταία μας φορά ή η τελευταία φορά που θα φιλιόμασταν ή που θα ήταν η τελευταία φορά που θα ήμασταν η μία στην αγκαλιά της άλλης.
Όταν παρατηρήσει κανείς τα σκηνικά στη ζωή του, δεν είναι τυχαία κάποια γεγονότα. Δε κρατάω κακία γιατι η ζωή ξέρει τι κάνει. Ίσως αισθάνθηκα παράπονο περισσότερο απ'ότι θα ομολογούσα. Συμβάλλουμε κι εμείς σαν άνθρωποι για τη πορεία των πραγμάτων φυσικά αλλά ως ένα σημείο.
Η ζωή είναι τόσο όμορφη και πολύπλοκη που, ορισμένες φορές, νιώθω πως δεν μπορώ να μιλήσω. Δεν ήταν λίγες οι φορές που φοβόμουν πως δεν θα μάθεις ποτέ πως αισθανόμουν γι'αυτά που έγιναν και το ότι δεν ήθελα να εξελιχθούν άσχημες εντυπώσεις. Πόσες φορές σε σκεφτόμουν κι ήθελα να τρέξω μακριά για να μου φύγει ο καημός γιατί αναρωτιόμουν πως τελείωσε αυτό που είχαμε και που θεωρούσαμε σίγουρο ότι θα κρατήσει.
Όσο περνούσε ο καιρός, συνειδητοποιούσα πως όλο και περισσοτερο γινόμουν καλύτερα, έκανα πράγματα για να μην σκέφτομαι τα άσχημα, αφοσιώθηκα στη σχολή κι αξιοποιούσα την ενέργειά μου για έναν στόχο. Όσο περνούσαν οι μέρες, περνούσαν στιγμές, άλλαξα. Συνειδητοποίησα πως δεν σε ξέρω πλέον όπως δεν με ξέρεις πλέον ούτε εσύ. Η καθημερινότητά μας άλλαξε και μαζί της κι εμείς. Μας έχει απομείνει η ανάμνηση των ανθρώπων που ήμασταν κι αυτό νομίζω ήταν κάτι που ήταν δύσκολο να σταματήσω να σκέφτομαι αλλά σιγά σιγά τα κατάφερα.
Δεν ξέρω αν θα ξαναβρεθούμε ή αν θα μιλήσουμε ξανά όμως έμαθα πολλά, έζησα τόσες όμορφες στιγμές και σ'ευχαριστώ.
Απλά ευχαριστώ.
Μαριλένα


Copyright © M.E.S.

Δευτέρα 11 Ιουνίου 2018

The world is full of opportunities to learn, grow and reflect socially, spiritually, academically and so on. To think there is only one way to achieve this not only limits your potential and extent of self improvement but also reduces your chances of connecting with others who are different from you either due to their interests, their profession, their everyday habits, their curiosity or that which fuels their passion.
When you accept that you, as a human being, are as multi-faceted as the next person then you will begin to wonder rather than assume and understand rather than judge.



Copyright © M.E.S.

Κυριακή 3 Ιουνίου 2018

Hypatia

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/hypatia-ancient-alexandrias-great-female-scholar-10942888/
'(...) “Almost alone, virtually the last academic, she stood for intellectual values, for rigorous mathematics, ascetic Neoplatonism, the crucial role of the mind, and the voice of temperance and moderation in civic life,” Deakin wrote.'

I saw the film 'Agora' today which was released in 2009. I learned more about Hypatia and I read up about her life. This movie had me bawling my eyes out, I cried so much. I did realise that there were some historical inaccuracies.. but due to the lack of evidence, the cause and person who was responsible for murdering her is not well known. She was, however, murdered for being a pagan apparently.

I felt I could relate with her and found her achievements simply fascinating. I find myself feeling so curious about history, culture and women back in those times!

Παρασκευή 1 Ιουνίου 2018

'Gata Band ft. Joss Stone - Armenia'

Never thought I'd hear a talented musician like Joss Stone sing in Armenian!  'The Total World Tour kicked off in April 2014 (...) her aim is to play a concert in every country on the planet. In each country Joss aims to collaborate with local homegrown musicians, playing indigenous music as well as her own songs. Joss will also work with a variety of good causes and learn about important humanitarian and environmental issues throughout the trip.'


Πέμπτη 17 Μαΐου 2018


It is quite ironic how we find good music during exams? Or perhaps we try to find refuge in the innate pleasures that satisfy us when we need them most; it is as if we pay better attention when our own attention to detail is being assessed – that is quite funny.

I came across such lovely music yesterday. I feel so exhausted but excited to finally graduate and move out to my own place and just start working, traveling more.

I dreamt about some people these days and I remember my older sister mentioned that one of her exes used to keep a dream diary. I have thought maybe it could be an interesting endeavour to take up. The subconscious is such a weird place but it can be inspirational and/or intimate and sometimes problematic though; that is not necessarily a negative thing.

I saw this girl approach me. It was spring, you could smell that sweet fragrance flowers give off. We were intertwined with groups of friends, each doing their own thing and talking. Every so often she would approach me and whisper sexual things in my ear while clasping my hand into hers, embracing me softly with her chest and she would then move away with poise and finesse comically.


It was almost theatrical and, might I add, mathematical. It was like a quadratic curve filled with neurotransmitters. Isn’t all life science and art, really? When you really sit down and see how intertwined they are. They are just variants of the same thing.

Copyright © M.E.S.

Τρίτη 8 Μαΐου 2018

'Youth' by Glass Animals

Boy, when I left you, you were young
I was gone, but not my love
You were clearly meant for more
Than a life lost in the war
I want you to be happy
Free to run, get dizzy on caffeine
Funny friends that make you laugh
And maybe you're just a little bit dappy
Fly
Feel your mother at your side
Don't you know you got my eyes
I'll make you fly
You'll be happy all the time
I know you can make it right
Boy, now your life is back-to-front
But you'll see that's not for long
'Cause I know you'll feel the ghost
Of some memories so warm
Boy, I want you to be happy
Free to run, get dizzy on caffeine
Funny friends that make you laugh
And maybe you're just a little bit dappy

Τρίτη 24 Απριλίου 2018


Today marks 103 years since the Armenian Genocide.

A modern-day burning 'Library of Alexandria'. Only, instead of parchment, people were erased from the face of the earth for merely existing.

Their bodies, once a mosaic collection of unspoken wonders and dignity, ceased to be autonomous.

The ashes of destruction never truly disappear nor do they give a complete picture; they can only serve as a symbol of the fragility and livelihood of our actions.

Just like the Library of Alexandria has become a symbol for the irretrievable loss of public knowledge, the Armenian genocide serves as a reminder to never stop searching for the stories that have been lost or have yet to be told.

Copyright © M.E.S.

Πέμπτη 19 Απριλίου 2018

Throwback to sea salt curls, iced coffees on the beach, house music, playing backgammon at a weird angle so the board doesn't fall, acting like you're going to the bathroom but, in reality, you're getting the bill (until you realise a family member probably tried the same tactic and was successful before you) and pressing your toes further into the sand "just because".

Copyright © M.E.S.

Κυριακή 8 Απριλίου 2018







From Greece to Lebanon to Armenia; someone asked me today why I didn’t go home for the holidays. I carry these places and so many others close in my heart. They are my heritage and my pulse. They carry my ancestors in their nooks and my memories in their intricate ruins.
These years have made me realize the meaning of sacrifice, hard work and appreciation of the small things and loved ones we so often take for granted.
We hope our efforts and dedication will amount to something worthwhile but we forget time passes without asking for our permission. This sweet paradox is all around us, in the monuments we admire, the places we have yet to connect to and the people who we have yet to discover.

Copyright © M.E.S.

Τετάρτη 4 Απριλίου 2018

Can I just say this year has been one hell of a ride? I don’t know if it’s because I have lived in this town for all these years and known the people here with the uni and clubs etc. How ironic is it – to not want to leave when you feel you have finally settled in? I am graduating in July!
Is it life constantly tapping you on the shoulder to tell you not to get too comfortable? That there is another chapter, another face, another mountain to climb, another adventure to partake in? This year has passed so freaking fast, I can’t believe it.
I kept spending all day at uni doing work for my portfolio and taking breaks here and there. Going there midday and leaving midnight or the early hours of the morning. The room I spend most of the time in is so strange in the fact that time feels it is not moving and that helps when I’m doing work, just putting in headphones and focusing on what needs to be done.
The other day I was at a friend’s house at 7 and was almost done with my portfolio but decided to go and rest. I hung out with them, had a few beers and then left at midnight… guess where? UNI! I was sitting on this computer editing my documents and printing out 130 pages of my portfolio when a thought came to me. Three years ago, I was sitting on a computer a few seats down. It was the day of my submission of the portfolio and I was rushing to print out pages because I only had an hour or so and even forgot some certificates at home! I realized, three years later, there I was having it printed off three weeks in advance in the early hours of the morning. I realized how rewarding it is to sit down and get stuff done without excuses or anxiety.
I love how much I have come to enjoy this course, with all its peculiarities and difficulties. I love how I can talk to students in the years below me and advise or help them because I wish I had that when I was in their position. I wish I had someone to be like – hey, here’s a heads up this and this is good to know and can help you save time. But I realized, even if I didn’t.. it made me who I am. My life is a series of impressive academic achievements but then very poor decision making! It is quite funny actually.
The fact that I didn’t go straight to uni taught me a lot. The fact that I failed that year at uni for a module.. I wish it wasn’t so but what I did with my time that year is one of the reasons I hold myself with confidence/pride and probably why I got accepted in all the interviews I did for the job I am starting after graduation. It is why I feel nothing is impossible without hard work. 
In my interviews, I was not asked about my grades whatsoever – imagine! The fact of the matter is knowledge is power; my course is so diverse and has aspects of business, finance, psychology, mental health, public health, ethics, law, medicine, pharmacology, safeguarding adults and children, palliative care, nutrition, social care, pharmaceutics, physiology, chemistry and all sorts! However, we must remember to always learn. At the end of the day, people want someone who is flexible, willing to learn, honest, realistic and admits to mistakes. My course, among all things, has taught me about the strength in accepting your limits and recognizing your mistakes. It is not so much about the mistakes you make as much as it is about the way you deal with them. That is what I love.. it shows us our humanness and how to deal with cruelty.
When I was going through my CV for my application to my job, I had a moment where I thought ‘Wow, you really have done some great things in your life’. I used to participate in European Youth Parliament sessions, in film festivals, in artistic events, in school concerts, in summer camp. In Glasgow, I volunteered as a youth worker in an after school club, at a mental health ward and a Red Cross helper. In Huddersfield, I volunteered at the homeless/social center and I helped out at the theater where I watched shows and met lovely people. I remember my parents asking me if I was getting paid for volunteering so much because I wasn’t really balancing uni with extracurricular activities. 
I worked in a pharmacy, in a telephone center, in museums and events of all sorts, in college exams, in the university around campus. I really did do things here, even if there were times life felt it wasn’t changing or things weren’t exciting. The thing is, you don’t know how much you do every day which then accumulates to make something worthwhile. Even the small gestures we don’t remember, they contribute somewhere – a butterfly effect of some sort. The people I have met, the stories I have heard, the memories I have made – they have all taught me something and it has only been five years!

I can’t wait to start a new chapter in my life, to meet new people, travel more and make more great memories.


Copyright © M.E.S.