Life Update

I have not been on for a while but this month has been so eye-opening. I have spent many hours just being at uni and doing work, coming home late and repeating the same cycle. I got over 80% in two of my assignments and passed a law exam with over 80% too (pass mark is 70%, imagine)! There were times when I received the results that I actually did not believe it and I would go onto the uni system to refresh the page or visit it multiple times to see if that was actually the case.

I feel so proud of myself and also really tired. I have to finish two assignments by the 2nd of February because I am going to go and see my sisters and Mom in Glasgow which I am looking forward to!

I met up with a friend I have not seen since March last year. I have known her since 2013, when I started uni in England. Long story short, her Mom got ill last year and that resulted in her repeating her year so she could care for her. I don’t know why, but I wanted to give her Mom a gift. I remembered when I was in first year, we had Secret Santa in Christmas. We were assigned £10 to spend on a person we got at random. I got given my Taiwanese flatmate as the person I had to get a gift for. I remember I bought her a ‘kompoloi’ (strand of beads popular in many cultures used for passtime or prayer) that I found on ebay which was made of beautiful marble and mixed rose/peach colors on metal strand. I tried finding the same or one model in a different color from the same seller but it was a unique piece.

I was still fixated on getting her this gift, even if I could not find the one I wanted so I thought of asking my brother to make a similar model. He made a similar one with smaller lilac beads he bought from a vintage market in Beirut and was cotton stranded, non-looped. The funny story is that I thought of this idea in the summer.

Want to hear a strange coincidence? In November, my friend posted a picture of a tattoo she got on the inside of her arm that her Mom chose for her. It was an ‘om’ - a weapon of a Hindu god used to fight his battles connected to none other than prayer beads! When I saw the picture, I got goosebumps. I had not told her or anyone of what I was thinking to do apart from my brother who was going to make the piece.

I saw my friend yesterday, after months of not having seen her and gave her the kompoloi. Her family were very humbled and her Mom asked when I was going to visit so she could cook for me! The reason I am telling this story is that, sometimes funny coincidences happen and they are totally based on gut instinct. I feel so glad and humbled to make them feel happy and put a smile on their faces and the fact that my brother got to be a part of it is even better because I felt I understood his profession and the gift of giving even more. The fact that you can create something that can hold so much meaning.

Also, fun story, I came out to her and she took it so well. I realize how much I have grown. I didn't tell course mates or friends when I was in my first years because I didn't want to make it a big deal and, unfortunately, I thought they would distance themselves or stop being my friend or feel like by disclosing my sexuality that I would fancy them. She even apologised for not being there for me last year which I found really sweet! We discussed about relationships and priorities in life and uni. I do believe I learned a lot about life and myself when I was with my previous girlfriend. I do feel, however, that I would not have achieved as much if I was still with her. Not because she was holding me back but because time is fixed and being in a long-distance relationship, you have to input the time you don’t see them in physically by talking/Skyping etc.

I do not regret anything I have been through as it made me who I am today and I am happy as to where I am although I know there is always room for progress in this life.

Copyright © M.E.S.

A Love Letter From Me To You (Village Sessions) by Sticky Fingers

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Same Ol'Mistakes - Rihanna

I can just hear them now
"How could you let us down?"
But they don't know what I found
Or see it from this way around
Feeling it overtake
All that I used to hate
Worried 'bout every trait
I tried but it's way too late
All the signs I don't read
Two sides of me can't agree
When I breathe in too deep
Going with what I always longed for

Feel like a brand new person (but you make the same old mistakes)
I don’t care I’m in love (stop before it’s too late)
Feel like a brand new person (but you make the same old mistakes)
I finally know what is love (you don’t have what it takes)
(Stop before it’s not too late)
(I know there’s too much at stake)
(Making the same mistakes)
And I still don’t know why it’s happening
(Stop while it’s not too late) And I still don’t know
Finally taking flight
I know you don't think it's right
I know that you think it's fake
Maybe fake's what I like
Point is I have the right
I'm thinking in black and white
Thinking it's worth the fight
Soon to be out of sight
Knowing it all this time
Going with what I always longed for

Feel like a brand new person (but you make the same old mistakes)
I don’t care I’m in love (stop before it’s too late)
Feel like a brand new person (but you make the same old mistakes)
I finally know what is love (you don’t have what it takes)
(Stop before it’s too late)
Man, I know that it is hard to digest
But maybe this story ain’t so different from the rest
And I know it seems wrong to accept
But you've got your demons, and she's got her regrets
And I know that it's hard to digest
A realization is as good as a guess
And I know it seems wrong to accept
But you've got your demons, and she's got her regrets
But you've got your demons, and she's got her regrets

Feel like a brand new person
So how will I know that it's right?
In a new direction
So how will I know I've gone too far?
Stop thinking you're the only option (feel like a brand new person)
I finally know what it's like
Stop thinking you're the only option, oh (in a new direction)
So how will I know I've gone too far?
Stop thinking you're the only option (feel like a brand new person)
And I don't know how to describe

Stop thinking you're the only option
(But you make the same old mistakes)
(You don’t have what it takes)
(Stop before it’s too late)
Stop thinking you're the only optionI finally know what it's like (stop before it’s too late)
Stop thinking you're the only option
Stop thinking you're the only option 

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Thoughts on life

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This post is going to be a bit of a mix, a bit of who I am also as a person. I am smiling because even in food and my interests are not unidirectional. Food, I love sharing and trying new combinations. As a British/Spanish comedian once said ‘’Tapas is NOW a thing!”. Sharing small amounts of food bursting of flavour – not quite getting the ingredient - causing our taste buds to savour it for later. Music, when it encompasses different trains of thought, equipment, phrases, pitches and allows for this “cross-section”, for this outplay, this spectrum of emotion makes me feel so alive. My interests, science, ethics, politics, philosophy, writing.. are never in one order, never one-minded or sighted. I sometimes feel envy for people who know exactly what it is that they are passionate about. I am not sure if this is mine, if writing is one of them. I do feel words are powerful and they can change a lot, they can stroke war between nations; little comments and compliments can boost self-esteem or turn a gloomy day up but, when chosen unwisely, can break hearts and deteriorate one’s confidence – was it strong to begin with though? That is the thing.

I feel that sense of not sharing too much, of sharing too little and keeping my thoughts and feelings bottled up. At the end of the day, if you are reading this then you know a lot of things that have happened but I feel a sense of “mourning” because I love to express these parts of myself with people when they are across from me, when I can look into their eyes and we can pass our time doing something, anything, to mark a memory and mark our conscience.

I came across this musician yesterday by chance and had her song on repeat – the one I uploaded yesterday. I knew who she was but I hadn’t given much attention to her music, perhaps it is the songs that draw us in, that we find a part of ourselves in and make us come back for more. I came across other songs and in particular https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYxT9-SIv1c&t=1080s ‘Welcome To The Jungle’ (the first song here).

I came across a writer whose work I had seen a few times – ‘Rupi Kaur’. I saw the book ‘milk and honey’ at my friend’s house when I was invited for Christmas. I will add some pictures below. Shes writes beautifully

Copyright © M.E.S.








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'Higher' by Tash Sultana

Listen to this, guys. I am at an awe. Simply beautiful


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Αν θα μπορούσα να περιγράψω τον άνθρωπό μου σαν αίσθημα, είναι σαν εκείνη τη βραδινή έξοδο σε ταβέρνα που τα παιδιά ζητάνε από τους γονείς τους να πάνε σπίτι -ή έστω στο αυτοκίνητο- να κοιμηθούν, οι μαγαζάτορες φέρνουν το κρασί αβέρτα, μου γνέφει για το μετά χαϊδεύοντας τον ώμο μου και σηκώνεται να χορέψει, προς απογοήτευση των νυσταγμένων πιτσιρικάδων, ώστε να μη δώσει τέλος στη στιγμή.

Αν θα μπορούσα να περιγράψω τον άνθρωπό μου σαν αίσθημα, είναι σαν το απόγευμα μετά από το μπάσκετ, τη πρώτη γουλιά παγωμένου νερού από τη βρύση, την απαλή μυρωδιά του σαμπουάν μετά το μπάνιο, το κριθαράκι με μανιτάρι/λιωμένη φέτα και το χουχούλιασμα στον καναπέ.

Αν θα μπορούσα να περιγράψω τον άνθρωπό μου σαν αίσθημα, είναι σαν τα Duty Free τσιγάρα που κάπνιζα κρυφά τις Κυριακές της τρίτης λυκείου που έλειπαν όλοι από το σπίτι, ξαπλωμένη στο γρασίδι, ρεμβάζοντας για το μέλλον, νιώθωντας ένα μίγμα μελαγχολίας-νοσταλγίας-έρωτα.

Αν θα μπορούσα να περιγράψω τον άνθρωπό μου σαν αίσθημα, είναι σαν τη βόλτα στο αυτοκίνητο με τη μουσική στη διαπασών, με την αυτόματη κίνηση για ζώνη, το ραδιόφωνο να παίζει μόνο όταν αλλάζουν οι ταχύτητες και να σιωπαίνει όταν χρειάζεται γιατι θυμάται, αλλόκοτα αλλά χιουμοριστικά, πως η συνάντησή μας είναι σαν την ευθυγράμμιση πλανητών – σπάνια, μαγευτική, χαοτική.

Αν θα μπορούσα να περιγράψω τον άνθρωπό μου σαν αίσθημα, είναι σαν τα βράδια που παίρνουμε το ρόλο των γονιών μας αλλά μετά ξαπλώνουμε στην αγκαλιά τους, γίνοντας πάλι παιδιά, ηρεμώντας από το χάδι και τη μυρωδιά τους.

Αν θα μπορούσα να περιγράψω τον άνθρωπό μου σαν αίσθημα, είναι σαν εκείνα τα πρωινά που ξυπνάς πιο νωρίς σε ξένο σπίτι και βγαίνεις, χωρίς κλειδιά ή κατεύθυνση, να βρεις το κοντινότερο αρτοποιείο κι ας μην έχεις πιεί το πρώτο σου καφέ.

Αν θα μπορούσα να περιγράψω τον άνθρωπό μου σαν αίσθημα, είναι σαν εκείνα τα σκηνικά που ο φίλος σου σου αφήνει το αγαπημένο σου παγωτίνι κι η μαμά το τελευταίο κομμάτι του κέικ – ενώ πραγματικά το ήθελε – γιατι ‘’δε πεινάει μωρέ’’.

Copyright © M.E.S.