Τετάρτη 26 Οκτωβρίου 2022

26/10/2022

What would she think of me? Those nights I'd lay on the grass on the mountainous terrain, smoking and looking. Looking above at the stars and moon; hearing the night sounds echo and hinder the answers I sought. 

It was so sweet to long for someone. The pain felt familiar. It's one that's personal and comforting, it brings out the struggle we have to endure to prove we are alive, outspoken, challenged. 

Would she smile at what I have become? Those days I would make lists of things to talk about. I wanted to know everything. I felt as if I wouldn't know who they really were if I didn't know their favourite color, how they drink their coffee or what they do to console themselves. Part of me still thinks this.

She told me I would do great things. I wonder if she meant it or just said it to make herself feel better for how she ended it; I wonder if her family ever accepted her and what they really thought of me. I hope she thinks about me with less heartbreak.

Would she look at me with those eyes and shake her head? If we could see ourselves being those naive teenagers from the corner of a room. Would she be grateful we bonded over society not being ready for stories like ours?

Would she touch me if she could? We used to worry about each other's fragility that we could have enjoyed each other more. We idealised each other but perhaps that's what we needed back then - something unphased, something life couldn't take from us, a relationship unable to be tarnished.

I have many questions to ask them. I am that person for someone else, we all are that element in the cycle.

What questions do you have for me? 

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