25/07/12

Online Users

15/07/12

I don’t know what to say. I feel so angry that I just want to run. I just feel like running until I pass out. I feel so tired but I don’t want to sleep. Whenever I talk with someone, I find it very immature, rude and selfish of them to say everything they want to say and then decide to end the conversation just like that because they find your reasoning inferior or maybe even wrong compared to theirs. Who the fuck do you think you are? If you can’t talk with the least bit of respect and purposely speak louder in order to shove your hypothetical superiority down my throat then what’s the point? Why are we even making the effort to speak to each other in the first place?

Everyone looks at the same thing with a different point of view. I get that. Just because I don’t have the life experience that you have, that doesn’t make my opinion wrong. You can’t just deem your beliefs/opinions as right just because you happen to live on this earth for much longer. Where’s the logic in that?

If, in fact, you think that age is something that should reveal your wisdom or maturity then I don’t see it. Your behavior shows that you’re not mature - it shows that you’re being childish to the point where I wonder who’s the adult in this relationship. I feel as if I obtain more maturity because I try to see things for what they are rather than instantly point my finger at something or someone In order to justify my irony, hypocrisy and resentment.

I try to be the bigger person, to look past the imperfections and forgive because I know what it feels like to be put in these sorts of situations. I really do try.  But isn’t it pointless when you keep on giving people not only the benefit of the doubt but also multiple chances to prove that they can be better human beings and they just don’t appreciate it and persist on talking while refusing to listen to your side of the story because they absolutely want to be the ones who are right?

Online Users

The theory of self denial

“The theory of self denial is like if you deny yourself something long enough for whatever self imposed reason, you know the moment that you’re faced with any real external imposition you’re going to voluntarily want to do the thing you were trying so hard not to do.” - Bloomington

Online Users

Let's just say it is what it is

I've been at camp for the past two weeks. It's been lovely and the change of setting is exactly what I needed.

Sometimes when you're surrounded by children and have the responsibility of taking care of them, your outlook on life changes.

The boys me and my friend Maria take care of swear so much that it gets quite tiring after a while. I once did this little test where I counted how many seconds it took until I heard a swear word or phrase and I couldn't pass the 25 second limit.

There are lots of funny things that happen that I can't quite remember. Lots of faces that I find pleasure in trying to figure out. Each child has something special about them - it's surreal. Each person has something important about them. What amazes me with the children I take care of is that among some of them, there is this profound maturity and sense of right and wrong. It's mind boggling how innocence can work that way. I mean, let's say, a lot of the boys swear and act like they know everything there is to know about sex/relationships and what not but in reality they're exactly what they are - children. You can see that the swearing and fighting that occurs between them is just an act for attention or to prove their masculinity or hide their pain/insecurity/inexperience which shouldn't be something they should be doing in my opinion.

There are lots of people from families with different social backgrounds and I don't know why, but that really fascinates me.

I find interest in trying to explain the most simple things to the children because there's this.. secret? In simplicity and few but important words.

I'm glad that hugs can make them feel the least bit better when they're feeling down about hitting themselves or missing a loved one.

One of the most wonderful moments is at night when the children are sleeping and the older people gather and share stories and eat left overs or order.

The moments I cherish are those when the night breeze offers me a sense of renaissance. The moon and the stars assure me that the infinite is chaotic but serene. The days of our youth pass by ever so slowly but we miss them ever so quickly.

I don't think I'll ever not be captivated by people's eyes and what they have to say. I love that about the human body. We, as humans, may have the ability to hide things but our body which most deem as the cell to our soul will find a way to show the effect of what we are hiding sometime or another.

Money is money. Family is family. Some things are more important than others. At least that's the way I see it.

Goodnight.

Online Users

Quote

“Live like you are extraordinary. 
Love like you admire someone’s most painful burden. 
Breathe like the air is scented with lavender and fire. 
See like the droplets of rain are each exquisite. 
Laugh like the events of existence are to be cherished. 
Imagine like there is magic in you fingertips. 
Give freedom to your instincts, to your spirit, to your longing.” — E. M. Crane, Skin Deep






Online Users